Time Away
by Bekness
Summary: Arizona takes some time off, can this time help heal old wounds?
1. Chapter 1

**Hey guys, thanks for all your comments on my one, who do you picture. I loved all the responses so I decided to write a new story based on 12x16.**

 **Hope you enjoy**

"Hey Bailey can I have a quick word with you?" Arizona asked while popping her head through the Chiefs door

"Make it quick Robbins, and it better not be more personal stuff, I don't do personal" Bailey stated while not looking up from the papers she was working on. The blonde walked in and shut the door, making her way to the desk

"It's not, I was just wondering if you would be ok with me taking a couple of weeks off?" Bailey look up straight away, finally taking in the appearance of the woman before her, she looked tired, too tired, even for a dual certified surgeon, a wave of empathy immediately hit the darker woman

"Is everything ok Arizona?" the blonde couldn't help to start feeling the tears well behind her eyes, she just nodded trying to push them back

"Yep, great, fantastic, awesome" the blonde new Bailey didn't believe her, but was hoping she'd give her an out, but unfortunately that wouldn't be happening, Bailey stood, walking over to the couch making a gesture for her to follow

"Tell me what's wrong, I know we're not super close but I did officiate your wedding and you were one of my bridesmaids. I also know I'm your Chief but right now I'm your friend" she put a comforting hand on Arizona's shoulder, in that moment the dam broke and tears fell from bright blue eyes

"I've been screwing everything up lately and I just need some time off. Since I've become a Neonatal surgeon I've hardly had time to breathe, either I'm doing those surgeries or I'm doing Peds surgery. I haven't taken any time off in the last 2 years. The anniversary of my brother's death is coming up and I thought I should really go see my parents, I've been to see them once or twice since the divorce" the tears had slowed but her tone was still sad

"Your parents got divorced?" asked Bailey, surprised because she had met them a few times and could see how even after 35 years were still happily in love

"No, my divorce. They love Callie and were very disappointed when it didn't work out, I know they blame me. I went down there the day after I signed the papers, sat them down and told them everything that had happened since the plane crash, the look in their eyes, I could tell I'm not the good man in a storm they raised. They eventually accepted it, but I still see the look or hear it in their tone of voice when mentioning Callie" she said quietly while pulling some papers out of her bag  
"I wrote up my surgeries that will need to be assigned to another surgeon, I've only got two moms coming in but it's not life threatening and it will be fine for them to wait the two weeks I'm gone and if not I'll fly back straight away. I think this time away will do me good, everything with April is shit, so maybe while I'm gone she can have some time, without me around she'll have breathing space. Maybe, eventually, she'll forgive me" she smiles sadly at Bailey, then goes back to the paper  
"I've filled in all the paperwork you gave me last week, you know, head of a department stuff. I talked a little with Karev earlier and he said he'd be happy to keep an eye on things when he can and will keep me updated in case anything that needs my immediate attention comes in. So I've got everything organised, just need your go ahead and I'll call my two patients and push them back to when I return"

"Well it seems as if you've done all my work for me" Bailey laughs "sure Robbins, have the time off. When do you want to go?"

"Would tomorrow be too soon? I've got to see my prosthesis and get a new leg, he got a new model that he wants me to try so I'm getting it moulded in the morning, and he said it should be ready by Thursday, I'll do PT Friday to get used to it and I want to be on the road Saturday"

"Sounds good. Are you going to take Sofia to your parents?" the darker woman asked, the professional stuff over with

"No, she's got school. Plus she's got a new BFF in Penny now so I don't think she'd even want to go" the blonde couldn't help the jealousy that made its presence

"So Callie finally introduced them" Bailey wondered out loud

"Yep. Thanks to you apparently. She dropped Sof off the morning after, going on and on about how much fun they had getting ice cream, how you mentioned who she saw in the future standing next to her. That's another reason I need to get away, I can't be around listening to my two loves go on about how their loving and having fun with someone else" she stood, packing up her stuff, not wanting to get into this, now that she's got her time off she's got stuff that needs to be done

"Your _two_ loves? You still love Callie?" the shorter woman was shocked, how did she not see this? If she did she'd never push Callie to Penny, as much as she hated to admit it, she was a Calzona shipper

"Of course I do. But Callie's happiness is all that matters. I may be able to move on and find someone new, settle down, maybe not grow old with 5 cats but she'll always be the love of my life. I've taken these two years to figure out who I am after the plane crash, after losing my leg and after losing my wife and in all that time I never stopped loving her, but when I look at her now I see the woman before all that happened, she may have walked out of that therapists office wanting to set me free and she did that but I also see that she needed it too, she's free now, she's flying and happy and that's all I can ever have hoped for. Penny makes her happy and now Penny also makes Sofia happy, so I'm taking these two weeks to get used to the fact that they are a family now." She picked up her bag and wiped the tears from her eyes  
"Thanks for the time off, I've got mothers to reschedule, my parents to call and let them know I'm coming for a visit, updating Alex on patients, maybe try and apologise to April again and then talk to Callie about going because next week was my week with Sofia." She walked to the door and pulled it open before turning her head "thanks for the talk Miranda, you say you don't do personal but I think you do it pretty well" she smiled before walking out the door, leaving a shocked Chief of surgery sitting on her couch thinking she had inadvertently made a mistake by pushing Callie towards Penny.


	2. Chapter 2

Four hours later Arizona was finally on her last task of the day, and was walking towards Ortho looking for Callie. She was in a pretty good mood, April finally agreeing to listen to her and in that moment she decided against trying to apologise again, April knew she was sorry, knew the reason why she told Jackson, so instead she just told her that she'd wait, she'd wait while April took the time to forgive her and if that was in two weeks when she got back, in a few months or years then she'd be there and even if she never forgave her but needed someone then all she had to do was call.  
She felt good, instead of blaming it on someone else, something post plane crash and pre new self-Arizona would have done she took the time, realised her mistake and accepted it. She took the ball, said what she needed and threw it back into April's court. She's proud of herself, she'd done a lot of soul searching since the divorce, and she has weekly sessions with a therapist, some days to talk about her problems, others just to talk. It was because of her that she was able to change, after Callie walked out of their therapist's office she had given Arizona the number of a new one, and with Arizona's permission she had emailed over her notes, the next day the blonde was walking into a different waiting room and met Dr Mason. She helped Arizona see where she had gone wrong, showed her ways to deal with everything and over time Arizona considered her a friend in a way. She had had an session with her last night and after spending the hour talking about April and Callie and Penny's step forward, how Sofia accepted her so easily, they both decided that Arizona needed some time off and away from everything.

She was so lost in thought she didn't realise she was walking through the Ortho ward until walking into the person she was looking for

"Shit, sorry Callie" she said as she grabbed onto the brunettes arms to stop them both from falling

"That's ok" Callie laughed a little confused why her ex-wife was up there "What's up? I don't think any of your patients are up here"

"I was looking for you, can we go to your office to talk?" the blonde looked around, realising how many people were up here. The Latina nodded, a little worried about what she could have to talk to her about. Once inside she motioned to the couch they sat and she waited patiently for her ex to talk

"So I need to talk to you about next week, I know it's my week with Sofia however I'm going to need you to take her if that's ok." Arizona wasn't quite sure why she was so nervous, however she soon realised she's always like this when she's so close to her ex, Callie had always and will always make her feel like a teenager with a crush

"Sure, that's fine. May I ask why though? Are you ok?" the brunette didn't mind but was a little concerned, her and Arizona had an agreement that each would have Sofia for a week before switching off. The only time the blonde had to change this was when she knew she was going to be sick, her ex was lucky in a way, knowing 24 hours in advance that she was going to be ill.

"I'm ok. I'm just going away for the next two weeks. Tim's anniversary is coming up and I was thinking of going home. I've already got the OK from Bailey and I've talked to Karev about looking after the department and some surgeries, I just needed to organise Sof with you" she could already feel herself starting to relax, just the thought of this little holiday making her feel a bit better.

"Oh… I knew the anniversary is next Sunday and that's usually trade off day but I was going to see if you wanted to keep Sofia for the day. Did you want to take her with you? I'm sure your parents would want to see her too"

"Yea I know they would but I really just want to get away, take some time for myself you know. They're coming to visit in a month anyway so they'll see her then. I'm actually thinking of driving anyway and we both know how much Sof hates being in a car for more than an hour" she laughs, remembering the last time she drove down they had to stop at least every 2 hours so she could stretch her legs

"You're driving down? Is everything ok? You only go for long distance drives when you're going through something, I know we're not each other's people anymore but I'm still here for you if you need to talk" the brunette placed her hand on Arizona's thigh, the blonde felt her heart race, the usual speed it goes when Callie touches her as well as the compassion she is showing

"I've just got a lot on my mind and I've just been so stressed lately, I've doing both neonatal and paediatric surgeries and so much paper work, which I think Bailey is just handing out because I don't remember ever having this much before. Plus everything with April, which I know now I shouldn't have gotten in the middle of, and well, don't take this personally or anything because I know you and I know you'll feel bad but don't, I thought I had gotten used to the fact that you'd moved on, I got used to seeing you and Penny everyday together but since this weekend, with Sofia going on and on about how much fun she had with you two, it just… it just hurts, so maybe I haven't gotten used to it, hearing and seeing Penny in the place I was, where I would still be if I didn't screw everything up and I just need a bit of time away to come to terms with it all" she sadly smiles, moving to stand up but the hand on her thigh presses her back down

"Why didn't you say anything? Why let me walk around here bragging about my new girlfriend? Why not tell me you were hurting?" tears start to build in big brown eyes that are so full of emotion

"I'm telling you now. Plus you were happy, apparently happier than you've ever been, so I didn't want to ruin that for you, I was the cause of your unhappiness for so long so I kept it to myself. I had to get used to this new normal, that's why I didn't have a problem with her meeting our daughter, I knew it had to happen and I had to live with the thought of you guys being a family, I just didn't realise how much it would hurt when that time actually came" she saw the tears fall from the brunette and without thinking she wiped them away  
"That's what this time is for, to get over the hurt, to get used to listening about the fun times you guys will have. To get over you and over a future that I still imagine that doesn't exist. Did I tell you I met a man in his 80's that found love again? He made me realise that even if you lose the love of your life, someone that you will always love, there is a second happiness out there for you, you've found yours now I need to take the time and find mine" she stands this time, the hand on her leg has relaxed and she notices the brunette in her own world "I'm leaving on Saturday so is it ok if I pick Sof up Friday after school to spend some time with her? I'll have her back before bedtime as I'm leaving early in the morning" she waits for a response "Callie" the brunette snaps her eyes up to meet bright blue ones

"yea, Fridays fine" she mumbles before going back to her own world, Arizona takes this time to escape, phone already in hand as she makes her way to the elevator calling her Dr. She needs an appointment asap, she went too far, she wasn't supposed to admit all that to Callie, she was just supposed to tell her she was leaving and to take Sof, but no, she had to get nervous and she had to blurt out everything that was on her mind and in her heart. "Whelp there goes our friendship and calm co-parenting" she thinks to herself.


	3. Chapter 3

**Hey all, thanks for the reviews. This is a bit of a longer chapter, was planning of turning it into two chapters but didn't know where to stop it for that to happen. So instead you've got one chapter and another should be up in the next couple of days**

She didn't know how long she sat there for after the blonde left her office, she wasn't exactly sitting in shock, more like sitting in unsureness. She had an inkling Arizona still had feelings for her, she could always feel blue eyes on her whenever she wasn't looking, dimples always made a presence when the two were together and if she ever mentioned a surgery that she was nervous about, the blonde was always in the gallery sending silent support. That's why she's not shocked, but the unsure feeling is what's bothering her. She never thought Arizona would actually come out and say it so she didn't have a response ready, what is she supposed to do now? Pretend it never happened or talk to Arizona about it? She didn't know.

What she did know is that she had been sitting so long that her shift had ended and she has to pick Sofia up from the sitter. She went for a quick shower, one of the perks of being part owner of the hospital, she got to renovate her office however she wanted and long had gone the days of sharing a shower with others, got changed and headed out. It wasn't until she was halfway to the sitters did she realise she didn't actually remember doing any of it, all automatically and her brain full of Arizona and what they had talked about. She thought about the last 2 years, sometimes she felt she jumped into the dating scene too soon, with only having been divorced for 4 months before going on a date, a date who of course had dated her ex, then she met Dan the police officer, they had fun but she realised during that time that men didn't really do it for her anymore, he's actually now one of her really good friends. She had taken a break from dating for about a year after that, just focusing on herself and Sofia, working on her disabled vets program and her robotic limbs. She finally felt ready to try dating again, her feelings for Arizona had slightly dimmed, not being around her all the time, at this point in time she only ever saw her when it was swap day, hardly seeing her around the hospital unless it was for board meetings.

She had heard how Arizona was busy saving unborn babies and how she hardly left the paediatric floor. She was so proud of her ex-wife, she knew how much she wanted this and she felt bad that she wanted her ex to choose between them having a baby or the fellowship. At the time she was heartbroken her wife didn't choose expanding her family, but now 2 years later and after over 50 babies being born and having a life because of that choice, she knows the right decision was made, just last week she saved 4 babies lives, one having to be born earlier than even what Sofia was and then she managed to keep the other babies inside so they could grow to a healthy size.  
She wondered briefly how she celebrated her win, back before the plane crash they would get Mark to have Sof and they would go out dancing then spend the night making love. Did she still do that? Callie knew that she had started going out with Richard, apparently he was an awesome wingman, she had heard from Maggie who heard from DeLuca that there had been a few nights Arizona hadn't gone home. The brunette felt the stir of jealousy in her stomach but pushed it away, she had no right to feel like that, she was with Penny now and for the first time in about 4 years she was happy. She thought back to last week when they went for ice cream with Sofia, the two getting along so well, her daughter couldn't stop talking about her all night when they got home, wanting to see Penny again but with it being her week with Arizona she didn't get too. She felt a little bad for the blonde, she had mentioned how Sof went on and on about Penny and it didn't help that she had a bit of a brag too. At least there's one good thing that came out of her ex-wife's speech earlier, she now knows to be considerate of her feelings, she didn't realise how deep they went and she was just too excited about how well her girlfriend and daughter got along she didn't she'd be that hurt over it.

She pulled into the sitters driveway and decided to put the afternoon chat and everything that she was thinking about to the back of her mind, it's time to go into Mami mode.

At the same time but on the other side of Seattle, Arizona was sitting in Dr Mason's office, she had just finished telling her about her day

"So you told Callie that you were still in love with her? Why did you think you did that?" Dr Mason, a lady in her 60's with short brunette hair and green eyes, asked

"I don't know. I think after the conversation with Miranda it was at the forefront of my mind and when Calliope asked what was wrong it all just came out. I must admit though, I feel 100 times lighter but now I'm anxious about what's to come, is she going to act like I didn't tell her at all? Is she going to want to talk about it? Is the friendship we have now going to suffer? These thoughts have been running through my mind since I closed the door to her office" she sighs and runs a hand through her hair

"We have no way of knowing what Callie is going to do but now that it's out there, what do you want to happen?" the green eyed doctor asked

"In an unrealistic world she'd tell me she loves me too, that Penny was a placeholder and that I can come home and live a life with my family but in the real world I just want her to treat me the same as she has these last 6 months, we've built a real friendship, something I think we missed out on because we jumped straight into a relationship, I mean the first time I met her I kissed her then she avoided me for 2 days before agreeing to go on a date. I don't want it to be awkward, I want to keep being able to laugh with her, be able to grab a seat at the same table she's at in the cafeteria, if its nice weather on swap days or if there's something Sofia really wants to do with us both we have a little family day then afterwards we'd go into whichever house Sof's staying at and have a glass of wine, relax and talk about our week, it's not often maybe one a month or so but it's nice. I just hope it's over now"

3 hours later she was sitting on her couch, prosthetic sitting next to her, DeLuca was on nights so she had the place to herself, she had just poured herself a wine and about to catch up on some Great British Bake off when her phone rang, Callie and Sofia's smiling faces appearing on screen, she stared at it for a moment, wondering and worrying why she was calling, then she saw the time and quickly answered

"Hey sweetie" she smiles

"Hey Mama" Sofia's sleepy voice filled her ears

"Did you have a good day at school?"

"Yea, me and Kayla played on the monkey bars at break time and I learned my times tables" she started to sound more excited and less sleepy

"That's great sweetness. Oh hey I need to talk to you, are you awake enough to listen?"

"Yes Mama"

"You're going to be spending next week with Mami instead of me. I have to go away for two weeks but I'll be picking you up from Friday so we can do something before you go back to Mami's."

"Oh, but we were going to go to the zoo"

"I know sugar, but it's going to rain all weekend anyway so we wouldn't be able to go anyway, so how bout we wait until I get back and we can go then, or we can go to the aquarium" she felt bad, she promised her daughter they'd go, maybe she should cancel, is she being a bad mother for putting herself first?

"Ok Mama, where are you going? Do you have to save little babies?" her daughter loves to tell people how she saves unborn babies and tiny humans

"Not this time, I'm going to go see grandma and grandpa. I would take you but you've got school, and they are coming to visit at the end of the month so you can spend heaps of time with them then"

"Oh, ok Mama, you tell them I love them?"

"Yes sweetie, and they know but I'll tell them anyway but you get to spend two full weeks with Mami, that's gonna be fun" she tells her daughter who was starting to sound a bit upset

"Oh yea, do you think Mami and Penny will take me to the zoo instead?" her daughter sounded excited, and it felt like a stab to the heart, it felt like her daughter had found a replacement

"I don't know, you'll have to ask Mami. Anyway Sofia, it's time for bed, are you all curled up under your blankets?" she felt like she wanted to cry and didn't want her daughter to hear her

"Si, Mami's tucked me in, she's just waiting for her phone now" her daughter started to sound sleepy again

"Ok, well goodnight sweetheart. I love you and have sweet dreams" she made a kiss sound

"Night Mama I love you too, oh Mami wants to talk to you" she kisses back before handing the phone to her other Mother

"Arizona? You there?" Callie asked, the blonde couldn't help but feel nervous about what she wanted

"Yea, what's up?" she asked calmly, calmer than she felt

"I just want to let you know that Penny and I won't be taking Sofia to the zoo, that's what you guys had planned and I won't take that away from you" Arizona was shocked that Callie would do that, she thought that it would be a perfect opportunity for them to bond

"Oh, thanks, I was really looking forward to it. I know with the rain it wouldn't be the best time but I was going to take her to the aquarium instead, I told her we'd do it when I get back. You guys should take it to Chihuly Garden and Glass, I haven't taken her yet and she would've mentioned if you had, so take her there, she'll love it." She really wanted to take her daughter there, she loves taking Sofia to the zoo, that girl really loves her animals but she wanted to be the first to take her to the Gardens however if Callie is willing to give up a bonding experience at the zoo with Sofia and her girlfriend then she'd give up the experience she was looking forward to.

"Oh ok. If you're sure, I was just thinking of going to the movies or something but now that you mention it I think it'll be a good idea. May I make a suggestion though?"

"Um, sure, whatever you want"

"Instead of going this weekend how about we go when you get back instead of you guys going to the aquarium, just you me and Sof?" the brunette asks quietly, unsure of why she is suggesting this but something about both of them taking her to something she hasn't been to before seems more like a family thing than a bonding thing

"Oh are you sure? I thought it'd be something fun for you guys to do this weekend" the blonde asked, confused but happy that this could really happen

"Yep, you, me, Sof and Chihuly Gardens and Glass. I'll find something else to do with Penny and Sofia" the brunette cheerfully said, already planning the day

"Oh well thanks, I'm sure it'll be an awesome day" Arizona's mood lifted immensely she took a sip of her wine, a comfortable silence falling over the pair

"No problem… so what are you doing tonight?" Callie asked, breaking the spell between them

"Not much, just having some wine and going to catch up on GBBO"

"Ooh what episode are you on? I just finished the 5th" The two women talked for the next hour about the show and general other topics. By the time they hung up both knew that even with Arizona's confessions that day, their friendship is still intact.

Friday came quicker than Arizona wanted, her new leg made her life a whole lot better, this one gave her no problems when standing for long periods of time, running became something she can do again and with practice her heelies might be able to have a comeback. She had a feeling that this model might be one Callie had worked on, when they were married she had seen a few blue prints she had been working on, before she turned her research to robotics, and this model looked a lot like one she had seen on the desk.

She was bouncing slightly standing out the front of Sofia's school, she was excited, she had planned an afternoon at the Children's Museum. She'd taken her daughter there a few times and had loved it, plus its Earth month and her little Latina loves anything to do with space.

"Mama!" she looked up and saw Sofia running at her, she bent down and caught her, picking her up just as quickly "Mama you shouldn't life me so quickly, you told me your leg can't handle new weight so quick"

"Not anymore sweetie, Mama got a new leg, I can now do everything you want me to" she smiles, she feels so good knowing she won't have to sit out anymore

"Like soccer? Can we go play now?" her daughter asked, getting excited and jumping in her arms

"Well I was thinking of going to the Children's Museum but we can go play soccer if you want" smiling because she knows what the answer will be

"Museum Mama, it's about planets this month, we have to go" she smiled and put her daughter in the car.

After an afternoon of fun and information about planets, they stopped at a little restaurant that they both love, she listened to her daughter go on about everything she had learned plus her week at school, how she made new friends, how Kayla did a backflip off the monkey bars, how she was a big girl as Uncle Alex took her stitches out, she just loved listening to her talk. By the time dessert had come out she realised it was almost time to take her to Callies. By the time they did get there, her daughter was fast asleep in the back of the car, she picked her up and carried her to the door, knocking softly and waited for the door to open.

She readjusted the child in her arms and her school bag, before knocking again, her heart fell when she heard giggling and knew who was in there but managed to school her features in time for the door to open. Penny greeted her with a wide smile, beckoning her in, Arizona internally scoffed, inviting her in to a place that should be hers, on the outside though she smiled and walked passed, she said a quick hello to Callie who walked into the entrance and took her daughter up to bed. She heard her ex say something to Penny before following her up, lucky for them, their daughter was a deep sleeper and changing her into her pyjamas, giving her a kiss and tucking her in, she stood to leave she caught her ex looking a bit below her belt, before looking away and moving to the bed. She held back the smirk that almost found her way on her face and tried to fight off the butterflies, the jeans she was wearing were a bit tight, and sculpted her ass nicely, her new leg made her feel sexy and she wanted to show that off. She walked out into the hall, waiting for Callie to finish saying goodnight

"Thanks for letting me take her tonight, we went to the museum and had something to eat, don't worry a proper meal not just donuts" she laughed, the brunette had told her off one to many times for feeding her daughter donuts instead of proper meals

"That's ok, she's your daughter too, and you don't need to ask permission. We made a deal when we came up with the custody agreement that if either one of us wanted Sof on a night that wasn't theirs then all we had to do was make sure the other didn't have plans" she smiled, placing a hand on the blondes arm

"And gave you time to have date night with Penny" she said, jealously flowing through her veins but she hoped to god that it didn't show

"Yea, she had the night off and surprised me" Callie looked at the ground, feeling guilty for some reason. "Um… Did you get a new leg? I couldn't help but notice the literal spring in your step and you carried her up the stairs without missing a beat" she already knew the answer. Paul, Arizona's prosthetist, contacted her about it

"Yea I got it fitted yesterday but I have a feeling you knew that. I can't help but notice that this one looks and acts like a blueprint I happened to see on our kitchen table one night" she smiled dimples popping as she teased her ex

"I may have gotten a phone call regarding a certain leg" she smiles as they started walking down the stairs "this particular model was what started the robotic limb research, well this model and watching the original Robocop, I thought about how it could work" she smiled, laughing at how a movie started something so life changing for vets and people suffering without limbs

"So the leg I have now is one step behind the robotic one?" the blonde asked, she had wondered more than once about asking Callie for more information about this limb

"Yea, why?"

"Just wondering, anyways it's getting late and I've still got to pack, plus Penny is sitting on your sofa waiting for you. So I'll ring tomorrow night when I get to the hotel to say goodnight to Sofia" she turned to leave, yelling out a quick goodbye to Penny and stepped outside

"Arizona, wait" she stopped and looked to her ex and was brought into a hug, feeling her heart speed up and the butterflies start again, she burnt this image and feeling into her head, smelling in Callies scent before they pulled apart "have a good trip and drive safe. Oh and I'll send you all the information I have on the robotic limb surgery and everything that goes into it" she smiled 'of course Callie knew what she was thinking'

"Thanks, anyway have a good night, I really do have to go, I'm leaving about 6 so need to pack and get some sleep before I hit the road, I plan of stopping for the night in Sacramento so got a big 11 hour trip ahead. Goodnight Calliope" she smiled and couldn't help the amazing feeling that filled her body when she heard the gasp from her brunette when the name fell from her lips.


	4. Chapter 4

**I dreamt this chapter last night so had to get it out.**

 **I got a comment on another story about Callie shouldn't take Arizona back because she's a cheater. I'm going to touch on that in this story at some point.**

 **Thanks all on your reviews, keep them coming, I like hearing what you think.**

18 hours after walking out of Callie's house, Arizona was pulling up out the front of a hotel in Sacramento, she was tired, physically and emotionally, and the entire drive consisted of thoughts of her future, her work and her family. So far she has decided that she needs to slow down a bit, she can't keep up with the lifestyle she has created for herself at the moment. Working 12 to 14 hour days then going to the club, with or without Richard, maybe meeting someone then going to their place and then only making it home with enough time to sleep an hour or so then go to work.

She knows she needs a release of sorts, no one has touched her since Callie, since their last night together. Yes she goes home with women but she's the only one doing the touching, driving the women wild, giving them orgasm after orgasm until they pass out, sure there's the occasional boob action, she might even grind herself against the other persons thigh until she cums but her pants never come off. While pondering on that she made her way to reception, checking into her room and laid down on the bed, she knew one of the reasons it never went further for her was the Callie thing, but a part of her, the insecure part of her knew that the reason is her leg. No one would want her if they knew she was disabled, so on the nights she's out she wears long pants, when she goes on dates she doesn't mention it, like she doesn't mention Sofia or the fact she's divorced, she knows she's never going to see the other woman again so why go into so much detail. She knows she's being a player, but no one has given her even a hint of the spark she felt with Callie, she knows she'll never find the full on explosion she had in Joe's dirty bathroom but even just a hint, a tiny little electric current, if she feels that with someone else, she might possibly have a change of growing old with someone.

After having a shower, she jumped into bed and pulled her tablet out, she may on holidays but she still has emails she has to look over. There were a few emails from obstetricians around the country, asking her to have a look at their mothers, a couple from an emergency board meeting that was called this afternoon, a few from patients thanking her for her work but the one that caught her eye had a subject heading of _RoboZona_ , the email was full of attachments and she made her way through every single one. From research information to trial data then went on to videos of Callie and Derek working hard, arguing over little things and brainstorming over harder ones, she teared up seeing him again, seeing him and her ex-wife's banter, how happy they were when the sensors and the legs connected for the first time. There were videos after videos of patients during surgery, recovery and when healed, she saw videos of people playing soccer, running a marathon, even just jumping but the one that got her the most was a candid video, the army vet didn't know his wife was recording and their son hit him with a stick in the back of the robo leg like a sword, and the father felt it, he didn't know his son was there, didn't know he was going to hit him but he felt it and looked down. It took a split second for him to realise he wouldn't have normally and the look of joy and amazement and the smile and hug he gave his son was something Arizona longed to feel and filled her full of hope.

5 hours later she was sitting on the bed, tears running down her face and a hope filled chest she looked at the clock, she had missed Sofias bed time. It was 1 am but she needed to talk to someone, dialing the first number to pop into her head she waited for it to connect

"Hello" a groggy, but sexy, voice on the other end answered, that voice that she used to wake up to every morning, that voice that would start hours of love making, that voice that told her she loved her for the first time

"I want it" was the only thing she could say, probably sounding a lot more aroused than she meant to

"Um… what?" a pause, phone probably being moved away to see who was calling "Arizona?"

"Yea, the leg, the robotic one, I want it" she laughed at the oh that was answered "I know I just got this new prosthetic yesterday but a man felt something Calliope, he felt his son, I want that, I want Sofia to run into my leg and me actually feel it, not just the added pressure, not the socket moving a little, I want to feel where about on my leg she touched" she cried even harder. Sofia's first steps were into her legs, she walked from her Mami's arms and walked 4 steps before falling into Arizona's lap, her tiny hands wrapping around her leg

"Hey, don't cry, we'll book you in to see if you meet the criteria when you get back, but make sure your 100% certain on this because I know you will meet it" she sounded so confident but a little guilty, Arizona couldn't help but ask why "because um… I made the first draft based on you and your leg. It was something I wanted to do for you, I know it wouldn't actually bring your leg back and wouldn't be able to take back what I did but I thought if I could even give you a tiny percent of something similar, that maybe you'd forgive me for making the call in the first place" she sounded so small and defeated

"Oh Calliope" she whispered, she could feel all the hurt coming from Callie in that moment "I forgave you for that, so long ago. I know we haven't really talked about it, and maybe at 1 am over the phone isn't the best time but just know that I've forgiven you for that. I know everything that came from it, everything that I did after the crash, the ending of our marriage was my fault but you saved my life by making that call and after a lot of time talking to Dr Mason, I got rid of the anger at you and realised your call saved me. So really, thank you Calliope for saving my life" there was a pause, both women crying, thinking over that time, thinking about everything that happened.

"Oh Ari" the relief she heard in the brunettes voice, she could hear the change, 4 years after the first blame took place, she finally believed she was forgiven and what she did was the right thing to do

"Anyway, it's late, I just needed to tell you that I'm in. Goodnight Calliope" she whispered, hearing a quick goodnight back she hung up, curling into a ball before falling into a deep sleep, dried tears on her face.


	5. Chapter 5

**So two things to say before this chapter**

 **Sorry it took so long to update, I went away for a holiday for a few days and left the laptop home, but I'm back now so expect more.**

 **And this story is actually getting hard to write with how pissed I am at Callie on the show at the moment. As if you just decide to fuck off to New York with your new girlfriend and take your daughter with you. If I'm correct it was like 2 weeks before this that she finally introduced Sof to Penny, and even then she wasn't even sure. I like Penny as a character and with other residents, I just hate her as Callie's girlfriend, they have no chemistry whatsover, however if Callie is going to be a bitch and not realise what she's doing and thinks she can just take her daughter away from her other mother then she can leave Sofia with AZ and go to New York and never return for all I care.**

 **Anyway sorry for the rant but she really pissed me off this week but I'll push through and continue writing the story how I think she show should go.**

Callie woke up the next morning, unsure if the phone call from the night before actually happened or not, a quick check on her recent calls confirmed that it did. She felt lighter, finally having that forgiveness she didn't realise she was after took a ton of weight off her shoulders. She knows there's more that they'll need to talk about eventually, a lot had been left unsaid between them and now they're in a place where they are both starting to move forward in their lives, they need to talk about the causes of past events.

She thought back to the conversation in her office, Arizona had told her she loved her, was still in love with her and in the next breath said that she wants to settle down with someone else. Jealousy and anger made their way through her veins but she pushed in aside, she knew she had no right to feel that way, she did move on first and she was happy with Penny, well she was, their bubble had been popped the night of the dinner party but they are more of a couple now, they spend time at home, they go to dinners and now that she's met Sofia they'll do more stuff together. Sure she's always had a tiny feeling of something missing, something that's just out of reach, it was something that wasn't there when she was married to Arizona, even after the plane crash, but she knows not all relationships are the same and there's still an adjustment period and they've been together for about 4 months so they still need time.

She sat up, the clock reading 9am, she had a full day planned with Sofia and Penny, the young Latina wanting to go watch Zootopia and wanted to go back to the museum, her girlfriend was coming around at 11 and she wanted to be ready to go when that happened. Hearing the tiny patter of feet down the hall she got ready for what she knows will be an excited little girl about to jump on her bed, but what surprised her was a sad looking girl hugging a teddy her Mama had gotten her

"Good morning baby" she said, trying to lighten the mood

"Morning Mami" her daughter said sadly

"What's wrong sweetie?" she pulled her up on the bed, holding her close and running her hands through her hair

"Mama went away and didn't call for bed time. She always calls, even when she's saving people but she didn't last night, does she not love me no more?" her daughter cried, hugging her Mami tighter

"Of course she does baby, she was just tired last night from her drive and must have fallen asleep before your bed time" she lied, she couldn't really tell her that Arizona was watching videos, Callie understood but their daughter wouldn't, "how about we call her now? She's probably in the car all lonely and would love to talk to you" her daughter just nodded, silent tears running down her face. Grabbing her phone she gave the blonde a ring, it rang twice before her ex picked up

"Hey Callie, what can I do for you this fine morning" the blonde was in an awesome mood, she woke up refreshed even with 5 hours sleep, which is something most surgeons are used to. She felt like she has made the right decision in going for the robotic limb, as much as she loves her prosthetic, being able to feel with that leg would be amazing.

"Someone missed you last night and wants to say good morning" she smiles at the happiness flowing through her ex

"Oh sure, I missed her too, put her on"

"Hey Mama" a sad voice called over the phone

"Hey sweetheart, what's wrong?" the blonde was immediately concerned as soon as she heard that tone

"You didn't call last night, did you forget about me?" the tiny Latina started crying, curling tighter into her Mami

"Oh baby, no. I was just tired, fell asleep" the brunette couldn't help but smile, even after 2 years apart, their excuses for their daughter always matched

"That's what Mami said, but you always call and say goodnight" tears started to subside but the tone was still there

"I know baby but I was just so tired, you know how you get restless when we go for long drives, well Mama gets tired after driving for a long time. Remember when we went for our last trip to see grandma and grandpa and I fell asleep almost as soon as we got to the hotel" she knew this was true, her Mami had to put her to bed but she still got a kiss from Mama

"Ok Mama, I'm sorry for being upset with you"

"Oh honey, never be upset for how you feel ok. I'm very sorry that I didn't call last night but know I love you and I from now on I'll always call at bed time" she talked to her daughter for a while longer until the girl was happy again, where she then got up and went and played in her room, happy her mother still loved her and didn't forget about her.

Callie picked up the phone that her daughter had thrown onto the bed after noticing it was still connected

"Arizona?"

"Hey Callie" her ex sounded sad "I should've rang her, I was planning to right after I checked my emails but I saw the one from you and just got so side tracked"

"No, it's ok. You are allowed to miss a night, hell I've missed a few when she's been with you. I think it's just because you're away that she noticed it more" her heart started to ache hearing the tears in the blondes voice

"Yea, I suppose, it just sucks you know. I've never missed bedtime, even when we were going through our problems all I had to do was text you to let you know I was calling to say goodnight to her and you'd answer to let me. Usually I feel really great about my mothering, especially because I never saw myself the maternal type until I met you, but at times like these I feel like such a failure" the blonde had pulled over by now, the tears in her eyes making it hard for her to see the road and she just needed a few moments to let them fall before collecting herself

"Hey, you are not a failure, we all have days where we feel like this, hell I feel like this most of my days with her because I can't braid her hair like you can, I don't read stories the way you, I don't make the right pancakes and I can't sit through another session of Frozen and sing with her but you do. But, I know she loves me and there are things I do right, so you forgot to call her one night, you have promised her you will all the time from now and knowing you she's going to be in college and you're still going to be calling her every night just to say goodnight. So don't feel like a failure, feel like a winner because you're an awesome mother and Sofia is lucky to have you" the brunette ranted, she couldn't believe the blonde thought that about herself so she had to put her in her place

"Thank you Calliope" the blonde whispered, her heart racing at the words her ex-wife and love of her life just told her, but then she had to laugh "you said awesome"

"Ugh, I know. I was hoping you'd just let that pass" she sighed before falling back on her pillow

"Never, finally after all this time I managed to get you to say something that I think you once called to perky and bubbly" the blonde laughed, her tears gone and her happy mood returned, she decided to pull back onto the road and continue on with her drive

"Shut up, you've always been to bubbly, it's actually good to see you back to that now" Callie couldn't help but the quick montage that ran through her head of all the times the blonde was too happy around her

"Yea, well like I said, these last two years and with the help of Dr Mason, I feel like the person I once was, only more amazing because now I'm double board certified" she laughed

"Wow, tickets much" the brunette laughed but hearing the laughter of her ex filled her heart and gave her butterflies, a comfortable silence filling the airways  
"So… anyways, where about are you?" she cleared her throat and asked

"I've got about 3 hours to go, I set off pretty early this morning, told Mom I'd be there before lunch"

"Ok cool, tell them I say hello, oh and tell her I'll email her a recipe I found that I think she'd like, we talked about it last week but I haven't gotten around to it" there was a pause from the blonde

"You still talk to my parents? I mean I know they sometimes Skype with Sof when she's at your place but you still talk?" the blonde asked, she never knew this

"Um… yea. You know how close I got with them, especially your mom, even more so after my own mother shut me out. So when we divorced Barbra rang me and said that even though you and I aren't together anymore doesn't mean I lost her. It was weird to start with, especially when I wasn't sure what you had told them about what had happened between us but after a while it got back to what it used to be like and now we try and talk at least twice a month without Sofia as an excuse. I.. um.. hope that's ok, I love them and I hope it doesn't make things awkward now" there was a long silence, so silent that if it wasn't for the noise of the car in the background Callie would have thought the blonde had hung up  
"Arizona?"

"It's fine Callie, I just didn't know you guys talked but I have to admit it's a bit of a relief. I do know how close you got to my parents and when we divorced I felt such guilt that I had taken another mother away from you" she had told her mom to call Callie many times after their divorce and even though she said she would, her mother never mentioned it so she thought her mom didn't

"You didn't take my mother away from me Ari, we've been through this, it's her own fault she can't see past her own ignorance and doesn't have a life knowing her daughter and granddaughter, but thank you for worrying about me when it came to that" the brunette heard her daughter shout for her telling her she's hungry, looking at the clock it was almost 10am and way past breakfast time  
"I've got to go, I've been summoned by Princess Sofia about breakfast and we're meeting Penny at the park at 11.30 and you should probably concentrate on driving"

The blonde's mood dropped instantly when her ex mentioned her girlfriend, for a short time it seemed like they could talk like they used to "Oh yep, I probably should" her tone was flat, the brunette noticed instantly "have a good day Callie, I'll Skype tonight for Sofia's bedtime so my parents can say goodnight too. Bye"

"Ari-"the brunette started but was instantly met with silence, no car sound so she knew the blonde had hung up. Why did she have to bring up Penny, they were finally getting somewhere. One thing that they never did before was communicate properly, a lot was left up in the air when they divorced and they never got closure on a lot of conversations they had started and it seemed like they could soon deal with a lot of those issues, at least now she knows that by bringing up Penny causes Arizona to close up, she knows one main topic to stay away from. She was brought out of her thoughts by a loud "MAMI" and knew it was time to push that out of her mind, she needs to tend to her daughter.


	6. Chapter 6

**So I've had a review which wasn't very nice so I just want to say it here, if you don't like my story don't read it. This story is made up that's why the characters are different then the show. It's what I want to see happen not what actually is, I want Arizona to open up to others, I want Callie to question her relationship however we all know that isn't going to happen so I write my own story to see it happen.**

 **However to all those writing positive reviews thank you for liking my story, your comments know I'm on the right track and that there are others out there enjoying it as much as I am.**

She was about an hour away from her parents when her phone rang again, she had spent the last 2 berating herself about being pissed that Callie and Sof were seeing Penny today, ugh Penny, Pretty Perfect Penny who has taken her place in her family. 'That's enough!' she thinks to herself and physically shakes her head to clear the thoughts before answering her phone

"Hey" a tired voice speaks after she answers and she can't help but be surprised, this was the last person she thought would call

"April, hey" there was a pause then April's cries could be heard through her speakers "oh honey, whats wrong?" her heart broke at the noise

"I did something bad and now I can't breathe and I need to talk to someone but I have no one"

"Calm down, take 3 deep breaths, you've got me, I'm here for you for whatever you need, tell me what happened" she said calmly and waited for the red head to calm down and talk, it took about 2 minutes before she had her breathing under control

"Jackson and I have been doing nothing but argue about this baby, he came to the apartment the other night and we talked until we started arguing him again and basically told him it was my baby and not his. Then I Catherine cornered me after a gruelling surgery and I just told her everything, when I found out, how I hadn't got an ultrasound yet, how it was you and not me that told Jackson and it was actually nice, I thought we were getting along until I heard her tell Dr Webber that he now has grounds to sue me for full custody. Then I did the bad thing, I decided to get in front of it before he could get me and put a restraining order out against him" she finally took a breath and the blonde couldn't help but gasp

"April, no"

"I know and the worst part is I came home from work that night and he had brought a new crib with a note saying that he wanted to stop the fighting and consider it a piece offering" she started crying again and the only thing Arizona could do was just be there for her and give her comforting words. For the next hour they figured out ways that they could work around this, try and fix some of the damage that has been done, they talked until Arizona pulled up into her parents driveway and agreed to talk more later when the blonde had settled in.

While Arizona was spending time with her parents, Callie was sitting at the park watching her daughter run around with a group of other kids she immediately made friends with, her girlfriend was talking with one of the other mothers, who she knew from when she was working at Dillard. As she sat there on the picnic blanket, surrounded by their lunch rubbish, she watched the scene and that feeling of something missing hits her again. Something just didn't seem to fit and she couldn't put her finger on what it was, before she could think any further a small body was suddenly on hers, making her fall onto her back, and her daughter straddling her stomach

"Hey Mami" the little Latina laughs

"Hey Sofia, are you having fun?" she smiles, not moving off the ground and just put her arms behind her head and listened to her daughter tell her all about her new friends, the game they made up and how high she got on the swings. Penny joined them not long after, chasing her daughter around, tackling then tickling her and to anyone else looking in it would look like a family outing but to the brunette something was off, her heart was supposed to race and feel full but right now, it feels the same, sure her heart feels happy, like it does when any of her friends play with the tiny girl but she shouldn't feel like that when it's her girlfriend.  
She knows the reason, it's the same reason when she first wakes up in the morning and expects to see blonde hair, and it's the same as in Bailey's scenario when she first pictured happy blue eyes but she knows she can't go back to that, Arizona has always had a hold over her heart and because of that when she broke her, she was broken hard. She does love Penny, but not full force and because of that she's safe, she's in a safe relationship where if they did break up she would be heart broken and would miss her but not to the extent that she did Arizona when they divorced.

"Callie?" she looked up and saw a smiling Sofia and a concerned Penny looking down at her

"Oh hey, what's up?" she shook her head, smiled and brought herself into the now

"We were thinking this day could be topped off with some ice cream" the red head smiled back and picked up the little Latina off her Mami

"I think that's a great idea" she stands up and starts picking up their stuff "what flavour you guys going to get?" they continued talking, walking to the ice cream stand and choosing their cones before going home and spent the rest of the day together.

It was 8 o'clock on the dot when her phone rang, her daughter already had it in her hands waiting for her Mama's goodnight call, Callie sitting on her bed just having finished their bedtime story

"Hey Mama!"

"Hey Sweetie, how was your day?" the blonde asked, already preparing herself for hearing about a day full of Penny talk, which she wasn't wrong about. The little brunette excitedly talked about how they went to the park and made new friends, how Penny and her played chasey, how Penny brought her an ice cream, how Penny sang along to Frozen with her, how Penny cooked them tea and even how Penny drew her a bath. The blondes heart was hurting but she put on fake excitement when answering her daughter, knowing that even though she's hurting her daughter is happy and that's all that matters. They talk for a while more, she told Sofia about her day, how her parents are and how much she misses her, she said goodnight to her sleepy daughter before the phone was picked up by her ex

"Hey" a sorry Callie answered

"I know that voice and you have nothing to apologize for, I asked Sofia about her day and we both know how she doesn't like to miss a detail. Plus I had time to prepare myself, you told me this morning you guys were spending the day together so I knew she'd come up in the conversation" she said sadly

"I know, but still, I know it must hurt, especially after everything that we've talked about lately"

"It does but this is my life now. She's going to be around for a while so I'll have to get used to it and if I finally do, I may be able to move on and knowing you and Sof are happy help with that" she sighs, she's sitting on the bed in the spare room, going through more information about the robotic limb, she had spent majority of the afternoon talking to her parents about it and they were on board,  
"Anyways changing subject I talked to my parents about the robotic limb and they said they'll come to Seattle to help out once I get it done. Do you have a rough guess on when I could possibly get the surgery?"

The brunette sighed, rubbing her hand over her face, knowing why the change in subject and couldn't help feel bad. By now she'd moved to her bedroom, looking for some privacy seeing as though her girlfriend was sitting on her couch. "It usually takes about 3 months before surgery, first we have to make sure your ideal candidate, which we already know you are, then we'll need to make new moulds, we'll work on the sensors, see if you've still got nerve feelings and then we'll go from there" she explained going into Dr Torres mode

"Ok, so if we start when I get back I'll tell my parents to come to Seattle in 3 months. How long do you think I'll be off work?" in her head she's already trying to figure out how many mom's she could fit in, in that 3 months

"Probably a month or so, you'll have to stay off it for a few days, we'll do some tests, make sure everything's working like it should then we'll have to get you into PT but it'll take some getting used to, it's not like a prosthetic where you just chuck it on and go, it'll become a part of you again, you'll sleep with it, shower with it and be able to feel with it, so you'll have to re learn how to walk and run again"

They talked for a few more minutes, going over some things that they'll need to officially talk about again later and a few hopes that Arizona would be able to get from it, Callie already thinking about buying her first pair of Heelys in 3 years. It was nearly 9.30 before they stopped talking and said goodnight to each other, the blonde going back to her information and writing a to do list, the brunette going out to her girlfriend, a glass of wine waiting for her. 2 hours later they both went to bed, both their last thoughts before falling asleep were of each other.


	7. Chapter 7

**Hey everyone. sorry this took me a while to get up, been flat out busy lately.**

 **Who else was so happy Arizona got full custody? That's what Callie gets for being a selfish bitch the last few episodes. I feel sorry for Sara Ramirez having to play her lately.**

 **Anyways without further ado, the next chapter!**

"Morning sweetie" Barbera Robbins said while not even looking up from the pancakes she was making, she would know the sound of her daughter coming into the kitchen sleepily anywhere, the sound of the crutches may have also helped

"Morning Mom, how long have you been up?" the blonde yawned while sitting down, placing her crutches next to her chair

"Not long, just enough time to cook breakfast before you got up, how'd you sleep?" the older woman asked as she placed a plate in front of her daughter

"Great, I always do when I'm here" AZ said around a mouthful of pancakes

"What have I told you about talking with your mouthful? And that's good. I wish you had brought Sofia with you though" the blonde couldn't help but cringe at being told off by her mother and waited until she swallowed before answering

"I know but it's the middle of the school week plus she's got dance that she won't want to miss, not to mention she's busy having so much fun with her new best friend" Arizona grumbled, stabbing at the smiley face she had made with whipped cream

"Something tells me this new best friend isn't just another 6 year old from school" her mother always knew her better than anybody

"It's not"

"Does this person happen to be a resident doctor who is also dating your ex wife?" the look Arizona gave her answered that question "and does Sofia getting close to Penny make you jealous and think you're being replaced?" the tears that ran down her daughters face confirmed her question, pulling her into a hug she rubbed her back as the tears continue to fall and whispered comforting words letting the blonde know she's there for her

"She's taken my place Mama" the blonde cried, she always reverts to calling her Mama only when terribly upset "I was slowly getting used to her taking my place next to my wife but I wasn't prepared for this intense jealousy and hurt when she started to move in on Sofia as well, hell I was the one who basically told Callie to introduce them, told her I didn't have a problem with it, I didn't think Sofia would love her so much, like her yes but not instantly love her. I know Sofia loves me, I know I'm her Mama but I feel like soon Callie will realise how much she loves Penny, how much Sofia loves her and they'll all move in together and Penny will become Step Mommy and they'll live happily ever after and I'll just be able to see her my weeks but have to listen to how much fun she's having with her new family unit." The blonde's cried subsided, having gained the comfort she needed from her mother but her heart still hurt

"That may happen but you know what Sofia will do when she has her week with Callie? She's going to sit there and talk about how much fun she had with you. And why is she going to do that? Because you're her Mama and you always do fun stuff with her and as she gets older she's gonna get into different things and you're going to be there to explore them with her. She's going to go home in 2 weeks and tell Callie all about how much fun she had at the zoo and in 10 years she's going to go and tell her about how much fun she had getting her nails done with you, or how you taught her to drive. And who knows she may also talk about your partner and maybe a brother or sister" her mother paused and Arizona's heart hurt more, a quick thought of the child that could be running around right now if not for her miscarriage, ran through her mind. She never got to tell her parents that she was pregnant and after losing it she didn't see the point, why get their hopes up just to get them broken in the next sentence

"Are you still trying to meet someone new?" the older blonde asked, she's always known her daughter was still in love with Callie, and in a perfect world she'd hope they'd get back together but now she just wants to see her happy and if that's with someone new or not then that's all that mattered to her

"I'm trying. I've been out a few night with Richard Webber, he's kind of been my wingman. I've met a few women but after the first date things just fizzle down with them, there's no real connection. I thought maybe dating outside the hospital would be a good thing, away from the drama, away from everyone knowing everyone else's business, away from people already knowing about me and my past but there's just something that doesn't work. At first it's exciting for them, hearing about how I save unborn babies and children, but once they hear of the hours, that I'm nearly always on call it's just too much for them. The funny thing is that that's too much and I never get close enough to some to even tell them I only have one leg, that I was in a plane crash, that I have a daughter and work with my ex-wife." The blonde laughed and moved out of her mothers embrace, she had tried, really she did, she had conversations, listened to what the other women were interested in, they listened to her, she was physically attracted to them but somewhere during that time she couldn't see anything passed the next morning with them.

"Oh Sweetie" her mother sympathised "everything will be ok. I know this isn't how you saw your life working out, but you've got to adjust that image or you fight for it. If you love Callie as much as you say you do, fight, don't lay down and let this Penny take your place. Over the last 10 years I've watched you go from partying womaniser to mother and wife to broken to your true self. I've been with you every step of the way since the plane crash, even though I don't know what entirely happened with your divorce but I held you when you lost your leg, held you up during your PT when you learned to walk again, I scolded you when you cheated and showed my disappointment when you slept with that Murphy girl. I celebrated with you when you got back together with Callie and when you brought your house, then once again I held you when you divorced. I don't mind holding you, you're my baby and it hurts to see you hurt but you've made your way through all of that. The woman that you are now has come through the other side of such trauma and problems and is better. This person you are now is probably the best version of yourself, you're stronger, you don't cry at a person of authority anymore, you're a wonderful mother, amazing doctor and if you give yourself the chance you can be the best person for Callie.  
However if you don't want to fight, if you truly feel she is better off, is happier with Penny than you then move on, you've got so much love to give, you've got to bring Callie down from this pedestal and give others a chance. It's up to you my sweet, know I'll be here for you, I know it will be hard but you need to take this time you're away from home and think about what you really want" her mother hugged her tighter, gave her a kiss on the temple and left the blonde to her own thoughts.

Does she want Callie back? Hell yes. Does she think Callie will want her back? Probably not. Will having Callie back make her happy? More than anything. Does she think Callie is already happy, happy with Penny and won't want Arizona to ruin that happiness? Unfortunately yes.

But what if she's not? She'd once been a master at knowing Callie's facial expressions, tones of voice and body language and if she is still the same then what Arizona has seen over the last few weeks isn't totally in love happy Callie, it's generally happy Callie. The happiness you get when hanging out with friends or extended family or the happiness that comes from a successful surgery, she's seen Penny and Callie together, hell just the other day she walked in on them in a storage closet and it just seems like their chemistry isn't there, they just don't seem to match. But when she sees them smiling and walking hand in hand, walking out of the hospital as a couple off to enjoy the night together, she has doubts, what if she's seeing what she wants.

"Arrgh" she stands up, grabs her crutches and goes to her room, she needs to talk to someone, someone who's seen them together as well, someone who doesn't really care. She picked up her phone, immediately knowing who to call and waits for the phone to connect

"Hey Miranda"

Brown eyes slowly opened as she spat out a mouthful of red hair, something that seems to happen a lot lately with Penny staying over more now that she's met Sofia. The brunette slowly rolls out of bed, turning off the alarm before going about her morning routine then starts making breakfast for her girls.

She just finished off the bacon when Penny walked in, giving her a kiss and taking the coffee Callie handed to her "Morning"

"Good morning, how'd you sleep?" Callie asked taking a sip of her own coffee

"Great, especially in your arms" the red head smiled.

"Well aren't you a soppy romantic this morning" she pulled the younger woman into her arms and kissed her, ignoring the tiny thought in the back of her brain telling her that she was kissing the wrong lips

"Mmmm, I actually have something to talk to you about" Penny said as she pulled away "I was hanging out with Jo and Steph last night and they were filling out their applications for the Preminger grant and I want your opinion on whether or not I should go for it too. It would be an amazing opportunity if I got it but I want to hear what you think because I love you and if I get it I'd have to move to New York" the red head rambled and Callie couldn't help but be in shock

"Can I um have a moment? I'm going to go shower and when I come out I'll have an answer for you" she rushed off into the shower, knowing Sofia wouldn't be up for another half an hour she had this time to think this through.

She stood under the spray her thoughts running wild. Why did this have to come up now? These past two weeks had been crazy, first Sofia and Penny meeting, then Arizona's confession, then she spent time running through her own thoughts and feelings and now this. Back before she lost hope she'd take this as a sign, questioning her own feelings at the same time Penny has a chance to move away, seems bit coincidental but that's not who she is anymore, she doesn't hope, hope means having something to lose, she lives day by day now taking life as it comes.

But this isn't a taking life at it comes moment, this is a think of the future, make plans, re organise her life moment. So she does what she now does in moments like these, pros and cons.

Pro, it's a great opportunity for Penny, it'd advance her career in a way Grey Sloan can't. Con, it's in New York. Pro, she loves New York, good place to visit. Con, she's not sure how well a long distance relationship would work. Pro, being away from each other will make their time together more amazing. Con, would she be able to get away that often? Pro, she's never had phone or Skype sex before so could be a learning experience. Con, with time apart would she start letting her feelings and thoughts about Arizona seep through?

By the time the water started going cold, she had made her decision, but first she had to get her daughter ready and off to school. Said daughter was sitting at the kitchen table, happily munching on the bacon she had made earlier when she came out of the bedroom, hair a mess and clothes on a little off centre.

"Morning sweetie" she bent down and gave her a kiss, fixing up her clothes as she stood

"Morning Mami, can you do braids for me this morning?"

"Sure thing, but I can't do the ones Mama does for you so you're just going to be happy with just the one down the middle" the tiny Latina pouts but nods anyway. The whole time she does her daughters hair Callie doesn't look at Penny, who is standing in the kitchen, pretending to keep herself busy by washing up.  
"Alright sweets all done. Go brush your teeth then we'll go get Zola and Bailey and head off to school" she watches her daughter run off before turning to her girlfriend "You should do whatever it is you want to and I will support you in any decision you make. However I do think you should go for it, this opportunity doesn't come around that often and it'll be an amazing experience not to mention it's in research which is exactly what you want and will further your career quicker than what you're doing now" she pulled the redhead close, holding her in a lose hug

"But, if I get it, what will happen to us?" green eyes started tearing up and she felt a little guilty for not feeling as sad as her girlfriend

"We'll figure it out then but for now, just apply and see what happens" she gives her a quick kiss, hearing her daughter running down the stairs

"Ready Mami! Bye Penny" she screamed running out the door

"Looks like I've got to go. Let me know what you decide, I'll see you at work later" she kisses her and grabs her bag and keys before following her daughter, slamming the door shut, leaving Penny still standing in the kitchen, holding a dirty dish towel.


	8. Chapter 8

After her phone call with Bailey, Arizona felt better, apparently she wasn't the only one who felt that Callie and Penny had no chemistry. Not that she got much out of Bailey but over the years she's learnt how to read her, read between the lines and what she found out is basically Bailey felt the same as she did, which is a relief because for a small while she thought she was going crazy, seeing what she wanted to and not what was actually there.

Her mother had left her alone for most of the day and her father having gone golfing with some ex-marine buddies so she decided to sort through a few boxes that she had left there. After her divorce she had shipped a few things to her parents because she didn't have the room for it at Alex's. She had grabbed a coffee before heading to the garage, she stood in front of the first box trying to guess what was in it, a game her and Tim would play every time they moved, they would only list where in the house the box should go then after guess what was in the box and who ever got the closest answer had to unpack the box.

This box was labelled guestroom, so she guessed it was probably a bunch of sheets. She was correct but after noticing what sheets they were, more like whose, she realised that some of these boxes were from when her and Callie had brought their house. They had agreed to unpack one box each a day, however they slacked off after a while and there was still about 10 unopened boxes that were sitting in one of the guest bedrooms when they separated. Staring at the next box she was a bit nervous, there was a lot of things they couldn't find, photos and such but decided it wasn't too important at the time so moved on to something else, she could literally be opening a box to her past and she's unsure if she really wants to right now. Everything over the last couple of days had made her past too fresh in her mind, she looked at the next few boxes, finding one with her handwriting and took a plunge, hopefully it was just more sheets or towels.

She was wrong, it was a box of photos. Photos of her and Tim over the years, photos of her and Teddy, her and a few of her friends from Hopkins, then she found some of her and Mark, her and Sofia, her and Callie and a few of her family, Callie, Sofia and her, all together laying down on the grass after a picnic at her and Callie's spot, the bench overlooking Seattle. Mark had taken the photo before picking up Sofia for the night. She was only about 6 months old at the time and it was the first nice day and they wanted her to see something other than the inside of the hospital, their house or rain. So that morning when the sun came out they packed a picnic and took their baby to their favourite place. They had so much fun that morning, Sofia had learned to sit up only a few days before so she was sitting and playing with the grass and a few flowers that were in reach, they had laughed and played and she fell even more in love with her little family.

Tears were running down her cheeks, she wished she could go back to this day, tell this Arizona not to get on the plane. No she wouldn't do that, without the plane crash and her losing her leg Callie wouldn't have gotten involved with prosthetics. She'd tell that Arizona not to push her wife away, don't cheat on her, don't start something with Leah Murphy, hold her family close and don't let them go. She'd tell her that losing her leg isn't the end of the world, losing her family was. She'll survive, she'll go on to do amazing things and save so many lives and that it'll be hard getting there, but she'll love herself again, it'll become a part of her routine to wake up in the morning and put on a leg and when she goes to bed, taking it off.

She'd tell her that even though she'll hate life for a while, it gets better, however what she'll hate is dropping her daughter off at her other mothers house, seeing her get excited and run to her ex-wife's girlfriend then going home to an empty house because the intern she lives with is on nights. She'll hate cooking dinner for one, watching Bake Off without her commentary partner, having a shower or bath by herself then getting into an empty queen bed.

She stared down at the photo again, looking at the smile that graced her face, she hated that she forgot how happy she was. Whenever someone mention of she thought of her marriage she would think of the failing half not the greatest of her life part. She thinks that's because it hurts too much, hurts to know how happy she was and that she threw it away.

She looked at the smile on Callie's face, one of her happiest smiles. The one saved for Sofia but in this picture her ex was looking at her. They were happy, it wasn't just her imagination running wild in her dreams, she's used to it now, being happy in her dreams, waking up and feeling for her wife before realization hits.

She picks up her phone, she wanted to talk to Callie, needed to hear her voice but she was unsure if she should. She doesn't have the privilege to randomly call anymore and seeing as it was the middle of the day and Sofia was at school so using her as an excuse wouldn't work. She couldn't really just ring to say she missed her or she wanted to hear her voice. Looking at the boxes again, she knows it's a shit excuse but it'll work. The phone rings twice before it's answered

"Torres"

"Hey Callie" the blonde tried to sound cheerful and not like she had just been crying for half an hour

"Arizona? Is everything ok?" she could feel the tears starting again and pushed them back, at one point concerned Callie had annoyed her but now it's something she misses most

"Um, yea everything's fine" she took a deep breath, swallowing down the sob that was threatening to escape "I've been going through some boxes that I had sent shipped here and I found some of yours. They are the ones that we never unpacked, just wanted to let you know in case you wanted them" she rambled

"Don't lie Arizona. You forget I know your crying voice not to mention I haven't needed anything in those boxes in at least 4 years so tell me what's wrong" the brunette said, her voice caring and the blonde lost it, she started sobbing loudly, Callie trying to calm her down on the other end of the phone  
"Please Zona, what's wrong?"

"We were happy. Right? I found a picture and we were happy. I just hate myself for how I treated you, how I ruined our family. But then it's not all on me, I tried Callie, after our separation, after Leah Murphy I tried but you didn't" this realisation just hit her, it wasn't just her in the relationship  
"I know you did at the beginning after the crash but I tried after the cheating. I guess we just tried at the wrong times" she was more talking to herself at this point, half forgetting that Callie was on the other end of the phone.  
"I was thinking earlier about how if I could go back and change things all I'd do is tell old me not to push you away. I wouldn't change the plane crash even though that was the main changing point in our relationship, because of my loss of leg you've helped so many people and if I didn't miscarry and if April didn't lose Sam then I wouldn't have gotten into neonatal. So in a way I can't fault our divorce without it we wouldn't have thrown ourselves into our careers and now we're both saving so many lives, giving people a future they didn't dream of before they met us. I just wish it didn't take losing you to achieve that. Because I have lost you now haven't I? I told myself when you walked out of that therapist's office that I would get myself sorted, be happy in my own skin and love myself before I tried to fight for you again, but now it's too late. It took me too long and now you're happy with Penny, perfect pretty Penny and Sofia likes her and you guys are living my family dream and I'm here sitting in my parents garage bawling my eyes at staring at a photo of when we were happy and my I'm just so overwhelmed and conflicted about what I should do next. So I need to know Calliope can I fight for you or is it too late?"


	9. Chapter 9

**Hey everyone! Sorry it took me so long to update, I've had so many assignments due the last few weeks it's been crazy. Also I've got some due in the next couple of weeks so I'll update when I can but might now be as much. Don't think I've forgotten about it because I haven't just busy :)**

 **So to say sorry and hold you over a little, heres 2,500 words of Calzona.**

 **Enjoy**

Callie stared at her phone, unsure of what to do. Arizona's phone call came out of nowhere, she wasn't expecting it at all. Everything she had said had come at a shock, then the question at the end, she was about to answer when everyone's pages went off, a bus had crashed into a local mall and there was nearly 100 people about to come through the emergency room doors. She told the blonde she had to go but to let her think about it, how her heart and mind would answer 2 different things and she'd want to give her a proper answer so give her time and she'll have a decent think and would get back to her.

That was nearly 2 days ago, she had worked a 27 hour shift, Sofia had stayed at Meredith's with the sitter, and she had just woken up after only a 10 hour nap in one of the on call rooms. So now in the quiet of her home she had time to think.

Did she want Arizona back? That's the main question and while she knows she'll always be in love with her she's not sure if she wants to risk it again. She was a broken shell of herself when they divorced and knowing that Arizona had the power to cause that, to hold that power over her, it's frightening.

But what she had said about growing into themselves, loving who they are now, succeeding in their careers and being happy in their lives, it hit something inside. It made her think that maybe things will be different, different from when they first got together, different from when they got married, different from after the plane crash and different from the cheating. Maybe now they can be who they truly are, their professional lives are succeeding and full of happiness, their motherhood lives are the best ever, they are both so proud of Sofia, she's top of her class, loving her dance, understands how she has to spend time at the sitters or at the hospital day care and she's made friends wherever she goes. Callie is generally happy in her personal life, she finds time to do the things she needs too and has even managed to read a few books over the last couple of years. She's happy with Penny but she knows there should be more, she sometimes feels like she's just settling, She's content and that's not a way she ever saw herself to be, she's always been for the all in love, not this everyday general love. She's been told in the past that she's in love with being in love but that was before Arizona, she had loved her with every fibre of her being, the love that poets wrote about, the love fairy tales are based on but the thing about that kind of love, they don't tell you what happens after the last verse or after the prince and princess get married.

So this everyday love, this general love, is something she can live with. She's happy, she's healthy and she's with someone that's happy and healthy too. Now that all the drama has settled down with Penny and everyone else in the hospital their relationship has been going pretty good. They get along, they go on dates and dancing and the sex is good, not sex with Arizona amazing, but pretty good. Her daughter likes her, which is a point in the red heads direction, the only problem is that she doesn't really see a future with her. When Bailey asked who she saw standing next to her in 20 years, she did picture Penny, after a quick glimpse of blonde hair, but one thing she's realised after having some time to think is that she doesn't see anything in between. From now to 20 years she doesn't see them living together, getting married, or having another baby. She sees them now, having a date then it jumps to standing next to the red head when her daughter scores a winning goal. That's it, that shouldn't be it.

She needs to talk to Penny, see where she sees herself. The only problem is she's afraid. Not just of what Penny will say but what if she decides after all this thinking that Arizona is the one for her, what if she decided to break up with Penny and get back with Arizona and it doesn't work and she's a broken shell again?

What if she decided to stay with Penny and has a boring, general life? Will that go against everything she's ever believed about love? What if she stays with Penny, and their life is boring? She knows she won't cheat on her but being in a boring life, that's not something she wants for her. She wants Penny to be happy, she deserves it and at the moment she makes her happy but what about in 5 years when their stuck in a routine and they start resenting each other.

And it's not just them she has to think of, she has a daughter she has to think of too. Sofia is at the age now where she will remember these things for the rest of her life, she'll get attached. She doesn't really remember a life when her Mommies lived in the same house, she knows life as going back and forth, only remembering what she's seen from videos and photos they had taken when they were together. If she gets back with Arizona would it be weird for their daughter? And again if they break up it wouldn't only break her but their daughter too. It took ages for Sofia to stop crying at night wanting her Mama to read to her the first time around but this time? She's not sure if she could handle it.

If she stays with Penny and her daughter gets attached to her, what happens when they start resenting each other? What happens when Penny realises that her girlfriend loves her but isn't in love with her? What happens when Sofia starts looking at Penny as another mother figure and Penny sees her as a daughter and they don't work out? Will she have to give Penny visiting rights too? Is Sofia going to stay up all night only wanting to go to sleep after her step mother reads her a story?

After a while of thinking like this and a few glasses of wine she realises something and sits straighter in her seat, she shouldn't be having this many doubts. If she knew what she wanted she shouldn't be making pros and cons, it should've been an immediate answer, she's obviously not happy in her current relationship if she was she wouldn't be sitting here debating whether to get back with her ex. Even though she knows she's not 100% happy anyway she thought she was at least 95, but sitting here, debating all this she realises she's barely 50% and that's not fair to Penny or herself.

Then there's Arizona, they've been through so much, would it be too hard not to automatically bring up the past during a fight or something? They've been told by many people over the past year how amazing it is that they are still friends and how well they get along, but what if that's just because they are apart? They are friends but not best friends, she rarely knows what the blonde does on her days off unless she has Sofia, they don't talk about how the other is feeling, they don't hang out outside of work or at mutual friends gatherings. She may always love Arizona but what if they're no good together?

Maybe… maybe she should be single.

She hates the idea but she can't keep stringing Penny on, its unfair to her, she knows the red head is in love with her and it'd break her but it'd only be worse later. Plus having these thoughts about Arizona is basically emotionally cheating and she said she'd never cheat on her.

So it seems like shes made a decision, first thing, break up with Penny, second, call Arizona, tell her that she wants to stay single until she knows for sure what she wants. Maybe they could slowly date, get to know the new them properly.

As Callie is picking up her phone in Seattle, Arizona was listening to her parents bicker over which one of them would be cooking. She was feeling a little nostalgic, her and Callie used to bicker, well pretended because they both new Arizona was a master of only 3 dishes and the rest came out a bit iffy. She sighed and looked at her phone for the 4th time that day, checking to see if she had missed a phone call or text, which would've been practically impossible seeing as though her phone has been attached to her hand since the moment she put her heart on the line.

She had talked to Sofia last night when Meredith rang her before putting her kids plus the little Latina to bed and had informed Arizona of the bus collision so she knew that Callie would've been working flat out but it still didn't stop her from worrying that she might have done the wrong thing.

Her parents stopped bickering and her mother opened her mouth to ask her a question but luckily she was saved by the doorbell, before either of them could move Arizona was up and answering the door. A brown eyed, black haired man in a crisp navy uniform was standing there, by the badges and medals pinned to his top it was clear to see he was pretty far up the chain of command

"Hi, may I help you?" Arizona asked a little nervously. At one point in time just seeing the man on the other side of the door would've had her on the floor crying her eyes out thinking either her brother or father weren't going to make it home, unfortunately she knows that this would happen because it has

"Yes ma'am is this the residence or Colonel and Mrs Robbins?"

"It is, I'll just get them for you" she steps aside to let him in and calls out to her parents. Her father straighten up when he sees the man, her mother has the same nervous look on her face

"Captain, how may I help you today?" her father shook his hand, standing slightly in front of his girls, a protective instinct that he's always had even when he doesn't really need it like now

"Oh please call me John, I'm actually here on private business and am stopping in on my way home" he smiles and her father relaxes instantly

"Ok, John what can I help you with?"

"15 years ago I was a Senior Chief Petty Officer and during that time I met a young man that as it turned out saved my life along with 5 of others with his own life. That man was your son and every year whoever out of us 6 get together for the weekend around his anniversary and remember him and his sacrifice, this year is the first year we are all home and we would like to know if you and your family would like to join us? He always talked about loving the lake and fishing so this year we've decided to go to a lake about 50 miles north from here where my families lake house is, it's big enough for everyone" by the end of his question Arizona had tears in her eyes, her mother had gripped onto her father and was crying freely and her father had a look of awe on his face. There was a moment of silence before her mother whispered something in his ear and stood back, wrapping her hand around her daughters

"We'd be honoured. We were originally going to just have a small family gathering the 3 of us but remembering him this weekend with the people he gave his life for would be a real honour. May I ask why we've never met before?"

"I was in hospital with shrapnel damage in my leg at the time of his funeral, the first few years I wasn't mentally in the place to meet you yet, and even though he was a few ranks below me he was a dear friend of mine and he giving up his life for mine hit me really hard. Over the next few years I was either stationed overseas or just away from here, eventually I felt like it might've been too hard for you to meet me. I think you have met 4 of the 6 over the years though, James Beckett was the one who gave me your address and suggested you guys coming along" he smiled and to Arizona it seemed so foreign, she had met many Captains in her time as Colonel's daughter and not one of them smiled, but then she's never met a Captain during his down time, always at work functions.

They went into the living room as her mother went to make some coffee, she was about to excuse herself until John started talking to her, talked about how Tim would always mention his sister the best soon to be surgeon he knew, he would fill them all in on how she was doing during her residency, how when she mentioned to him she wanted to work in Peds he brought her her first pair of Heelies. The black haired man had to laugh when telling the story of how they said they wanted to marry twin sisters so neither of them could brag about having the prettiest wife, even though he would get the prettiest twin. She laughed with tears in her eyes, Tim was the first person she came out too and after paying her out about the Cindy Crawford picture on her wall he mentioned the twin thing, then going on to mention they'd have a joint wedding and they'd both dance so hard the floor wouldn't be able to hold them.

She did excuse herself after filling the man in on her life, talking about her work and her daughter, who was also invited to the weekend away which she told him she'd think about it and have to talk to her ex-wife about as well. She shook his hand and made her way to her bedroom, she really wanted Sofia to come to this, she tells her daughter about her Uncle Tim all the time and she feels that meeting the people he'd saved would let Sofia know her Uncle a bit better.

Laying down on her bed she thought about the weekend to come, Sofia wouldn't be able to fly by herself, meaning that Callie would need to come, even if it's just for the flight, meaning she'd have to see her which kind of excited her but also made her nervous. She quickly sent Callie a text asking her to call when she's free and purposely mentioned that it's about Tims anniversary so she wouldn't feel pressured to answer her question from 2 days ago. All she could do now was sit back and wait.

The one thing she hates doing.


End file.
